R, E, N.

Is it really meant to be?
is she the one that's meant for me?
Should I act on what I feel?
'Cause she's the closest thing to real I see.
I wonder what she's waiting for...
I wonder what we're waiting for...
I don't want to push the limit.
'Cause I hear that less is more.

Song and lyrics both by Rockie Fresh reminds me of someone, specifically someone who despite being a human burrito and avid connoisseur of the finest man made bunnies ever invented, also happens to be one of the most beautiful, genuine and curiously interesting people I've gotten to know. To be honest, I've known this person for a while, but I guess I 'rediscovered' who they are, or gotten to know them better. What's particularly scary and yet exciting is I actually like this person a lot which in itself is rare, I'm usually not interested in anyone except immediate family and a few close friends so I guess it makes this person special, because amongst the sea of faces smiling at me I prefer to only look at theirs. 

Dear Mae, 

let's hope that one day we can move to Canada and follow our dreams while we're awake and  protect our world from ceiling fans as we sleep. 

So, Today's My Birthday

FML

At least I've gotten one birthday greeting

Nah, thankfully it's not like that, there's going to be a BBQ not in my honor but because my mom wants to use my birthday as an excuse to have a BBQ. I don't mind though, at least there's going to be some good food. I prefer not to make a big deal out of things like birthdays, but Eh, if you get cake and ice cream out of it why complain? Happy Labor Day everyone!

Love at First Bite

I'm not a one girl guy and they know it.

When it comes to love I don't lie,
and the girls respect me for it.
Ain't gonna say my nose can't be open
but right now there's just too many fine ladies out there to choose one from.

Until recently the song lyrics to 'Trying Girls Out' by The Persuaders was my mantra. I figured romantic friendships were the way to go rather than relationships but there is someone that has totally changed my point of view. She's beautiful, witty, a bit snarky but that just makes her even more adorable! Gentleman behold, my recent case of oneitis.

Pamela Swynford De Beaufort

Yes, she's a fictional character, yes she prefers women, yes she's dead but damn she's sexy! I'm not one for blondes or dead people, but this is one fair haired lady I wouldn't mind exploring necrophilia for. Pam is a character from HBO's True Blood, a series based on the 'Southern Vampire Mystery' books by Charlaine Harris. Her character is played by the lovely Kristin Bauer. Pam is portrayed as always being calm, collected, classy and down right honest to a fault. I think that's what drew me to her she's an extremely loyal woman who carries herself as a lady, but she can kick ass when needed and save the girl all while wearing pumps.

MILF in the making

I adore Pam but I tend to keep it to myself. Having a crush on a fictional character might be strange to some but I know I'm not the only one out there (at least I hope not). I've heard many friends explicitly explain what they would have done to Jessica Alba's character in 'Idle Hands' or Laura Prepon as Donna from 'That 70's Show', but that's when we all were kids and couldn't find a girlfriend. Now being in my 20's is it okay to crush on a fictional chick? To my readers, do you have any fictional characters that you have a thing for? I'd like to know, please post it in the comments section; and to my dearest Pam I might not be worthy, but if you ever read this I want you to know I'll be your dessert any day girl.

TL;DR Pam is hot, I adore her, which fictional characters do you have a crush on?

A Step Back to Step Forward

Epic, Phague & I strolling 
through Lufaise Meadows

The joints in my fingers hurt, I think it's this getting older thing, maybe I don't get enough Vitamin D, or it's probably from the years I spent crunching buttons on a video game controller for whichever system was popular at that moment. If I took a serious guess it would be most likely from the lack of Vitamin D due to all those cool video games. Sad I know, but I can't blame it on video games in general. I'm at fault, though the vitrual crack named Final Fantasy XI is to blame for a small part as well. Yes, another Final Fantasy XI Blog!

Nah, not really.. I don't play much anymore due to responsibilities I can't shrug off and a growing lack of interest. XI (Final fantasy 11) has lost all of it's appeal to me, well besides being a virtual chat-room with a lot of cool scenery and the only way I could keep in contact with the few yet precious folk there that I call friends. I started in Dec 04' made my character, and tried it out. I found it too hard as I couldn't figure out what was going on and there was no real in-game tutorial for beginners. I quit a couple days after and didn't pick it up until a year later and haven't looked back until recently. I've had a lot of great times on XI, meet a ton of really cool people, a few bad apples but overall the experience was awesome. Being that XI, was my first MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game) I went in with no expectations except to see the staples of the Final Fantasy series and came out with a lot more. I've had a plethora of great experiences and learned a few things about people, life, and oddly enough love.

Tara & I enjoying her last moments in-game

Though my experiences now aren't as exciting as they were then, I still login every now and again but lately with Final Fantasy XIV just around the bend I wonder what adventures a newer MMORPG would offer. Should I leave it all behind for something shinier and probably not as good? XI was my first, I figure there will never really be anything that could capture the same magic it did. The triumph and glory of defeating that monster you need an item from, the relief and joy when you finally accomplish obtaining your max level, most importantly the friends you make and memories you create through doing so. XI I noticed is quite unique in the sea of online games, players seem to build bonds that carry on outside of the game and are generally deeper than friendships you would form on other games. Is it worth giving up the familiar, the already earned fame and rare items, leaving behind old faces and alliances to create new ones?

Just you and I under a sky,
filled with airships, we watch them go by

That's a question I ask myself and I'm sure most XI veterans will be asking themselves this coming month. Whether I decide to stay or try something new, one thing is for sure I'll be gaming with a controller in one hand and a bottle of multivitamins in the other.

Early Morning Heart Reap

I was up early due to sleeping at an ungodly hour the night before. I was passing time browsing an image-board website where I happened to stumble upon a thread that was dedicated to 'Bawwwing'. Now, for those who don't know and I'm going on out on a limb expecting that anyone but myself would be reading this. Bawwwing is another form of crying but in the context of the thread crying specifically because of a failed relationship. Browsing through the sea of sad stories and tales of tattered hearts, I came to realize that the so called 'legion, the sess pool of the unforgiving that is known as Anonymous' has a heart. Post after post someone would describe how they loved so deeply to eventually have that love shattered to pieces by that some-what cute nerdy girl who ended up being Satan's flaming gimp whore with an insatiable appetite for other people's 'lovings.'

Say what, Bitch?

After reading for sometime as the anonymous posters provided support to each other through macro images such as Courage Wolf, and other various over used internet memes I started to feel nostolgic and remembered my first heartbreak and subsequent lessons learned from the experience. I can leave a piece of advice for the 'basement dwelling neck-beards old and new' who inspired this post and to anyone else who's dealing with heartbreak, It hurts for now but as one door closes many open. You may be not be able to see that right now but it's so true so stop acting so fucking beta and get out there! If that doesn't help then I guess you can always go with Insanity Wolf's advice...

*Disclaimer* The author is not responsible for, or condones any type of assault on women due to anyone taking advice from Insanity Wolf. He assumes his readership, (which probably only includes himself) understands that Insanity Wolf is first Insane, and secondly a wolf.